backfill

Author: benthecoder

posts/010825.md

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+---
+title: 'moving out'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 1, 2025'
+---
+
+packing is terribly hard
+
+moved like 10 bags of things (incl luggages) in a lyft XL
+
+so drained
+
+bought cherries from a cheap grocery store in mission
+
+dinner @ uchigo home cook
+
+ordered beef curry again and egg plant and takoyaki
+
+passed out for 2 hours at 10:30

posts/020825.md

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+---
+title: 'sf -> aus'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 2, 2025'
+---
+
+packing for a move to a different state is a challenge greater than i anticipated. it took days of organizing and shuffling, packing and repacking, and leaving some things at W's house but i somehow, with 20 minutes to spare before the plane boards, made it with 2 50lbs luggages and a carry on that was stuffed like a turkey on thanksgiving. i have two laptops in my bag, im moving to start my first ever full time job.
+
+the past 3 days of starting at OE has been nerve racking yet incredibly exciting. im constantly oscillating between feeling out of place and insufficient, yet feeling hopeful and grateful for the the opportunity to grow. i feel afraid that i wont be able to meet expectations, yet i know i will always get things done in the end. i got my first project on my first day, and theres a clock ticking down at the back of my mind when i shower and eat. like a bomb i should be diffusing or the world ends.
+
+achievements and "success" often comes with sacrifices. it could be health or relationships or your own identity and values. so my priority in life now is to learn how to balance. im someone who gets obsessed with things, either its work, research, a new side project, books, art, people. relationships, either its God, T, my family, or friends, is the one thing i must never sacrifice. if there's anything ive learned in the past few years, its that i cant do any of this alone. and im lucky enough to not have to. and that ive been the happiest when i do things not for myself, but for the people i care about.
+
+after watching a beautiful mind on the plane, i learned that love can save us from our lowest points, and to never give up on hope. and sometimes our greatest works and achievements arent the things we plan for, but the things we do along the way, with the people we love.

posts/030825.md

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+---
+title: 'first day in aus'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 3, 2025'
+---
+
+watched ACC church livestream. rest of the day was dealing with the move.
+
+---
+
+from tamara on [dialectic](https://jacksondahl.com/dialectic/tamara-winter):
+
+- writing helps you become more tuned to present moment if you're prone to daydreaming
+- it helps you look for things to be grateful for
+
+best writing has a few traits:
+
+- clear
+- has natural questions about the world
+- does not overexplain or spell out the argument

posts/040825.md

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+---
+title: 'gibson flats tour'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 4, 2025'
+---
+
+meals:
+
+- breakfast: biscuits
+- lunch: bibimbap 12pm
+- dinner: pho 10pm
+
+notes:
+
+- played ping pong with tour person
+- toured and paid on the same day, moving in tomorrow.
+- had good conversations about diet
+
+reflection:
+
+- buying things online drains me
+
+tomorrow: ingestion and moving in and amazon stuff
+
+slept: 2 a.m.

posts/050825.md

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+---
+title: 'first day at gibson'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 5, 2025'
+---
+
+meals:
+
+- breakfast: 9am thai fried rice w chicken
+- lunch: 3pm thai fried rice w chicken
+- dinner: 10pm thai fried rice w chicken
+
+notes:
+
+- spectrum internet is so bad
+- walmart bowls and plates
+- starting job + moving is the most stressful thing ever
+- not having internet is killing my productivity
+  - had to deal with spectrum fiasco
+- just pay for things for convenience
+
+reflection:
+
+- dont ever forget checkout items again
+- stop thinking so much about saving money
+- worried about not shipping fast enough
+
+tomorrow: prioritize WORK > setting up apartment
+
+slept: 1:30 a.m.

posts/060825.md

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+---
+title: 'office tours'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 6, 2025'
+---
+
+> "A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad."
+> – Shigeru Miyamoto
+
+meals:
+
+- breakfast: oats
+- lunch: banana + tacodeli (chicken mushroom taco + chips)
+- dinner: kbop bulgogi beef
+
+notes:
+
+- toured spaces, firmspace and industrious
+  - spaces charged for coffee and was claustrophobic, biggest gym
+  - firmspace is very corporate and uptight, 40% lawyers,
+  - industrious
+- reviewed my first PR today
+- learned what django models + apps and makemigrations and migrate
+- always use dbeaver first
+- CHECK staging and PROD HOSTs
+- grateful for friends and living close to them.
+- excited about getting this project out for demo
+
+reflection:
+
+- its hard to dive into a new framework and codebase, its super helpful to have R guide me through it
+- i've been getting home and going in a cycle of shopping while working till past midnight. on one hand i'm obsessed with buiding this because i enjoy learning and working on something meaningful, but i can't stop
+- i should pay more attention to taking breaks
+- i need to be GRATEFUL for having the opportunity to join an AMAZING startup with COOL and EXCITING work to do every day. and living in a nice apartment and having the chance to design and decorate it. STOP the mindset of "i have to" and switch it to "i get to".
+
+tomorrow: getting query to work + continue to design my apartment
+
+slept: 1:35 a.m.

posts/070825.md

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+---
+title: 'maintenance day'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 8, 2025'
+---
+
+> we live exclusively in the present because it is always eternally today and tomorrow will be a today, eternity is the state of things at this very moment.
+>
+> – the hour of the star, clarice lispector
+
+meals:
+
+- breakfast: oatmeal
+- lunch: kbop bibimbap
+- dinner: kbop korean bulgugi
+
+notes:
+
+- maintenance came to fix toilet leak, vinyl floor swelling, paint chipping, and screen holes, took 2 hours
+- finally escaped django ingestion purgatory and left the house to bike on peloton 5km in switzerland, did some weight lifting
+- got my osprey nebula bag, enamled cast iron, and kleenex tissues
+- ordered chicken and salmon and other groceries $180
+  - is walmart good? the prices are not great compared to costco
+
+reflection:
+
+got to stop claude coding so much and architect and plan and think more. have more taste. dont be code monkey. ask more questions. talk to more people. dont let fear or insecurities stop you from growing and gaining the trust of people in the company. i need a way to remind myself to take breaks. it is hard to furnish my apartment and focu son work.
+
+tomorrow: GET A CHAIR SO I STOP SITTING ON MY LUGGAGE SLOUCHING ON MY MACBOOK
+
+slept: 1:30am

posts/080825.md

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+---
+title: 'firmspace trial'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 8, 2025'
+---
+
+meals:
+
+- breakfast: kbop beef bulgogi
+- lunch: flower child corn + salmon + brownrice
+- dinner: ramen tetsuya chasu bowl
+
+notes:
+
+- waymo can't stop in front of my apartment
+- NEVER use claude code to deal with database django stuff
+- working in a small team of 3 is nice
+
+tomorrow: SHIP SHIP SHIP
+
+slept: 2:05 a.m.

posts/090825.md

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+---
+title: 'working on weekends'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 9, 2025'
+---
+
+> To be an artist, you don’t have to compose music or paint or be in the movies or write books. It’s just a way of living. It has to do with paying attention, remembering, filtering what you see and answering back, participating in life
+> – Viggo Mortensen
+
+meals:
+
+- breakfast: chips and two avocados
+- lunch: rice, salmon, spinach (4pm)
+- dinner: basmati rice, salmon, spinach (10pm)
+
+notes:
+
+- Shark light away upright vacuum
+- chefman air fryer is so quiet
+- instant pot 7 in 1 Duo pot
+- killed an american cockroach in bathroom at 12 am
+
+reflection:
+
+working at the lounge made me more productive, but i've been unable to work out, i just keep getting too engrossed in work.
+
+tomorrow: God
+
+slept: 2:05 a.m.

posts/100825.md

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+---
+title: 'austin chinese church'
+tags: 'journal'
+date: 'Aug 10, 2025'
+---
+
+> What do you consider to be more or less basic factors making for happiness in the human mind?
+>
+> 1. Good physical and mental health.
+> 2. Good personal and intimate relations, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships.
+> 3. The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature.
+> 4. Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work.
+> 5. A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life.
+
+meals:
+
+- breakfast: oats
+- lunch: beef pho (1 pm)
+- dinner: salmon+rice (8 pm)
+
+notes:
+
+- a lot of chinese and asian at ACC
+- to never trust claude code, have to write things from scratch
+- the opportunity to be working on this
+- to grow and learn from my lack of coding skills
+
+tomorrow: make pr better
+
+slept: 12:10 a.m.